


Petals of love

by zacco_platypus



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Unrequited Love, but it not gonna shatter anything, goes over the anime canon, i think i didnt do justice to hanahaki, mentioned asahi/noya - Freeform, not happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23871799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zacco_platypus/pseuds/zacco_platypus
Summary: Kinoshita has suffered enough, and now is finally coming to peace with his fate
Relationships: Kinoshita Hisashi/Nishinoya Yuu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Petals of love

Kinoshita Hisashi was nervous. Or even scared. Maybe even both? It was a big operation, after all. Even with one mistake, he could die on the operating table. But if he doesn’t get it done, he’d surely die. He was in the final stage after all, and there was no way he’d get it removed the natural, and less painful way. But he wanted him to be happy. And if it’s not with him, then so be it. 

He clearly remembered the first time he felt his heart jump in his chest. He should have predicted what was happening, and stop it somehow. Not that there would be any way anyone could have helped him. Well, anyone besides Nishinoya. Who was so busy and obsessed with Asahi from their first year, it was obvious to anyone but the two of them. Kinoshita knew he’d stand no chance against someone that tall and well built, to not talk about his face and confidence. Because he had confidence. And Nishinoya was the one to help him prove it. 

In the first weeks, he already started intense coughing, that left him gasping for air desperately. He didn’t know the cause back then. He was so naive. He just kept silent about it, shrugging it off as just random asthmatic coughing fit from something. He should have realised it was much more severe than that. 

So he was a bit relieved when Ukai came to coach them. The feeling he got there from overwork, and the coughing fits he got at night were almost the same in intensity. Though they felt different, he ignored it. Because he couldn’t bear more than a week from that. He left with his friends. And he was glad he was in the background only so far. So they only tried to drag Ennoshita back. And he had a few peaceful nights without the coughing. And those few weeks of silence was the last time he had a night without those fits. 

During their second year, when Nishinoya was closed out of the club for a month, Kinoshita thought he’d get a break, too. All those sleepless nights for almost a year were starting to get to him. But no, he had to worry about him endlessly. Mostly about what this meant to his relationship with Asahi. He hated how hopeful he was that they wouldn’t get back on those close terms they were before. 

Rest assured, he was right. They weren’t as close as before. No, they became even closer after that practise match that the new Ukai set up with the neighbourhood association. He tried not to be grumpy about it towards the coach. He didn’t feel like coughing his lungs out during every practise after all, so he wasn’t the worst. He just felt like coughing his lungs out at night in his bed, even just at the thought of the two of them. But especially at the thought of Nishinoya. 

Not in a weird stalker way, of course. He just admired everything that was Nishinoya. Because he was everything he himself wasn’t. He was strong in his own sense, confident, he could cheer people up, he was never afraid to speak his mind, or get into trouble. He wasn’t afraid of failing. 

But he wasn’t selfish. He saw how hard that match hit Asahi. He knew he needed Nishinoya more than himself, despite what Narita was constantly telling him about it not being selfish if he wants happiness for himself, and that he should go for it. 

After that practise match did he start coughing up petals. First, only small white ones. It was almost nothing. He ignored it, because he could. He could just hide the small petals in his fist whenever it got onto him in school or at practise. 

But then he felt like luck has smiled on him. In November of their second year. He still remembered clearly of the day he decided to start practising jump floaters. Partly to be in the games more. But mostly because as a libero, Nishinoya could practise with him finally. Focus only on getting his serves. Which would also improve both of their abilities. So a perfect win-win situation. 

It only made things worse. Yes, it made Kinoshita part of the team, and a bit cared for. Even if it was just temporary. Even if it was just his imagination, the petals seemed to leave him alone for a bit. 

In January, his happiest and saddest moment came. He failed in the one thing he practised so hard. The only thing he was good at. And he still couldn’t succeed in landing a ball in bounds, or make it unreceivable. But no. However, he did feel like a hero. And not to the team, or to himself. To the person he currently cared the most for. 

There and then on the sidelines, Ennoshita called him out, like he always did. He told him, almost in a demanding captain voice to ask Nishinoya out before it’s too late. Little did he know, that it was already too late. 

That night he had to get down to the street, not to wake up anyone. The petals started to get bigger, and he even coughed up bloody thorns. So that was the scratching feeling in his throat ever since the libero pointed at him. They found him out in the cold of the morning. He lied about wanting to go for a walk. They let it slide. 

The situation slowly got worse, which made the wing spiker slowly lose his mind. The slowly growing petals, the taste of blood that was always present in his mouth, no matter how much he ate or drank, or the stinging scratch he felt in his throat constantly didn’t help him get over the situation. He knew they would never get together. 

So that’s why he decided in favour of the operation by the start of their third year. He clearly remembered the day. It was the first week of the new school year. They were all in the gym, waiting for Nishinoya to finally show up. He was with Asahi. To announce that they were dating. Kinoshita could keep up the happy face until five minutes, where he had to run out, saying he had to go to the bathroom. He got only outside before he coughed up a whole bush of roses. A few minutes later, they found him lying on the grass, with blood and flowers around him. They called the ambulance. 

And there he was. There was no more hope. It would be easier this time. Because at this point, crouching on the hospital floor, drowning in tears and petals, he just wanted this to end. Soon, he felt being pulled up, and being placed on a flat surface. He didn’t see from his tears, and couldn’t breathe from the petals, despite his ever speeding up breathing, that was growing desperate to do the only thing it was supposed to do. Feeling a mask getting placed on his face, and slowly feeling of losing consciousness - though he wasn’t sure if he was dying, or just going under the knife -, he one last time thought of Nishinoya, saying goodbye to him in his mind. 


End file.
